Life With Owen

1 year Old: HOLY CRAP

2011-08-30T21:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight marks the first anniversary of Owen's birth. I am, of course, feeling a multitude of emotions. I'm very weepy.

I'm thinking back to a year ago. I'm thinking back to the whole labor process. I'm thinking of this:

Resting and Loving in between contractions

And I'm thinking of the pain cresting and the unbearableness of it all. I'm remembering how I asked for pain medication, against my desired birth plan, and how my doula (Nicole Heye) lovingly asked me to wait another half hour. I'm remembering how impossible that sounded. And how I did it.

First Smile with 'Baby,' not yet named

I'm laughing that at one point I growled to the room, "no one is allowed to laugh."

I'm grateful that Colleen was there to witness the place we deemed 'swamp hell' when everyone else was not on my plane of existence. She was *there* with me, seeing my face split horizontally, seeing me feel my eyes slit into a primitive being. She was horrified & traumatized, and witnessed my trauma, and told me it was real. I wasn't a wimp.

Just hours old, in the hospital

I'm remembering our utter shock that I birthed such a huge baby--who knew??? 9 lbs, 12 oz!!! At 40 weeks, we were measuring at 38 weeks; what a difference those last two weeks made.

I'm remembering some of the things I haven't shared with the public. I'm remembering the hemorrhaging. The level 3-4 tear. I'm remembering the things we mothers don't speak in public, about feeling myself, swollen and resting on my sides as I made the first walk after Owen came out. How I was on side-lying bed rest for a whole week afterwards because of the swelling. And how 12 hours after I was released, I was back at St. Peter's Hospital--this time in the ER--because I passed a blood clot the size of my fist and when into shock on the bathroom floor.

A day old; the swelling's gone down

And lastly, I am remembering the feeling of having, of seeing my baby. MY baby. This new little life that wasn't here in this way, and now is. I remember his sweet new baby smell, pre bath. I remember his size. His feet, just like mine. And I'm seeing him grow this past year, growing and changing and making me laugh and cry.

And then I see, in my mind, his 1st birthday party we had this past weekend. Such a big boy. Such a person I am proud to have birthed, blessed to be his mother. This little boy that I love like no other.

10.5 months!

2011-07-12T21:45:00.000-07:00

I wish I could do justice to the sheer amount of joy, challenges, and changes that have happened since I last posted! But I know I'm likely to forget some of these; please forgive me for doing so.

Owen's dental appointment went very well; I cannot recommend Small to Tall Dentistry enough--especially Dr. Psaltis! (It helps that I know him from Unity of Olympia too...) Owen's holes aren't cavities--yet. They're very likely to become cavities because of the shape of them, sugar can easily rest there and start decay. So...we're doing a fluoride rinse once a day, just dabbing it on the spots with a Q-tip. I [still!] have mixed feelings about fluoride, but Dr. Psaltis was very knowledgable, and I feel confident that it was the right choice.

June, at the Bellevue Botanical Garden

Some joy:

Owen's first word: CAT! Though now that I announced it, he's completely stopped. Go figure.

My little munchkin is continuing to inch forward towards crawling, though he hasn't figured it out yet.

He is SO SMART! The way he 'reads' to himself, and to me, is heart-breaking in it's adorableness. And now he's waving, gesturing at things...he knows what 'cat' is, what 'fan' is, and what 'Roberto Balano' is (Colleen named our plant after one of her beloved authors).

His 9 month appointment clocked him at 27 lbs, 8 oz.

And...I just love him more and more with every breath I take.

Some challenges:

He's having trouble with bowel movements. This is very scary. Not to go into details, I'll just say we're trying everything. Everything you could suggest, we're doing. And I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated at all of the suggestions, I'm frustrated that the nurse-practitioner's suggestion was, "before we recommend suppositories, we try to change his diet." "Really," I wanted to say. "Who the F do you think you're talking to???" So...introducing more solids is at a plateau for now. He's getting about 3-4oz in the morning, and about 2-3 for a second meal in the evening.

And. I am having trouble producing breast milk. And everything you could suggest, I'm doing. Seriously. AND I can't just give him more solids to compensate, because as you read above, his little body is having trouble digesting those. So I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. I need to work to survive (and I love my job~I'd cry without it), but I can't produce enough milk to make it through a whole work day. I can't go in just a little bit every day because I only have childcare for the three days. I just don't know what to do.

Other things of note, he (and the rest of us) caught a terrible cold (his first real one) that made him have crap in his little lungs. We were real worried for a little bit, but we used the humidifier & I rubbed diluted ravintsara EO on his feet, and it's finally passed.

He apparently had a case of 'nursemaid's elbow' that landed us in the ER. I think x-rays are terrible, horrible things, but they have their use, and we had to get his arm x-rayed. But the upshot is that we have adorable chubby Owen-arm x-rays. :)

So there's, finally, a little update.

Dadadada and blueberries

2011-05-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

Some new(ish) things to note, since I am *so horrible* about updating y'all:

Owen often gives hugs & kisses. It is AWESOME.
He seems to have gigantic holes in his two front teeth!!! I can't tell what on earth they are; they don't look like cavities, and we brush his teeth after each feeding, and he's only had these teeth for less than 3 months!!! Has anybody else had this happen?
Owen sings to us, to himself, to anything. Is is just...the sweetest, most precious thing.
I am still sleep deprived. I will probably be so for the foreseeable future. People can say what they want, but I won't have him cry it out. I just won't.

Here's a list of the solid foods Owen's had so far:

bananas
blueberries
apples
pears
sweet potatoes
peas
avocados
rice cereal

I'm bragging, I know, but I am so proud to say that I've cooked and pureed ALL OF THESE and have bought NO baby food for his belly!! I'm also glad to say it's all been organic. But for those who know me, that's not a surprise since I'm kind of...militant about it.

His favorite so far? It's hard to tell. He likes all food!!! He hasn't had the bananas for a long time because he's had trouble not pooping afterward. (Same with the rice cereal. I don't know. It's hard to imagine moving from 1 feeding a day when he gets so constipated with some of these foods.) The blueberries were fun because I put them in a teething bag while they were still frozen and he totally loved it. And they died his fingers and face. And I have a video. It is Awesome.

He babbles all of the time!!! It's funny because when we go out, he's quieter because he's used to a small household. So people think he's a quiet baby until he gets going, and then they're shocked. I think Brant's going to win on the 'first word' contest, because Owen babbles dadadadada all day long (along with bababa and all sorts of other words), but he hasn't learned the 'm' sound yet. So no 'mama.' I console myself with the fact that he doesn't know he's saying dadda when he looks at Brant and says it...but he will soon, and I know I've lost.

Happy Owen eating blueberries :)

A Belated Easter Greeting

2011-04-25T09:13:00.000-07:00

Happy [late] Easter, everyone!!!

Cute Easter Baby

What a cutie pie :)

Breastfeeding Help, Please!!!

2011-04-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

I'm in a bind, for two reasons:

1. Owen's begun to bite while nursing. At first it didn't hurt much, but he's progressively biting harder, and once he made me cry. (Poor Owen had no clue what was going on; he still hasn't made the connection that my breast is a part of me and feels pain.) We haven't given him negative stimuli, so when he hears me say no with a frowny face (I'm trying to teach him facial expressions), he thinks it's funny. He grins up at me, like, 'what a weird voice you're making right now, mama!' and doesn't get it. So I don't know what to do. I refuse to 'pop' him, regardless of how many mothers/grandmothers/aunts/etc. suggest it to me, and I can't just not feed him. Any advice???

2. I'm having challenges choosing what rate to give solid foods to Owen. The pediatrician gave us a recommendation sheet, but the guidelines seem pretty steep for right now. Then it occurred to me that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for 1 year, not 2 (even though the WHO and UNICEF both recommend 2 years). So I think the guidelines are focused on weaning a child after a year, which is not my intent. Any nursing mothers have advice about how to incorporate solids without replacing a substantial portion of breast milk?

PLEASE, HELP!!

Solid Foods

2011-03-13T15:23:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note:

Solid food poop is the most disgusting smelling thing in the world. Breast fed poop is so much better.

This new change is gross.

6 Months!!!

2011-03-08T21:10:00.000-08:00

Owen is (well, has been) 6 months old already!!! It's just crazy. I still can't believe it. Such a big boy! Some things on my mind:

1. Owen loves to roll-over for tummy time. So much so, that, he's not really spending time actually on his tummy. When we asked our pediatrician for advice, she gave us the standard advice we already knew about...put a toy or a book in front of him to see if it'll lead him to stay there longer. It doesn't work. But then she said, to my sadness, "Well, bigger babies tend to take longer to crawl anyways, so he's probably not that far behind." So crawling may be a bit off. But I have to look at the bright side; we get more time before we have to following him around everywhere!

2. He's begun to scream at the top of his lungs all the time. In happiness, in anger, in frustration, you name it. He has a strong pair of lungs.

3. Yesterday we fed him solids (bananas with breast milk) for the first time. I have a video; I wish I could upload it, but it's being tricky. He was interested, definitely ate it, but wasn't happy. But that was mostly, I'm sure, because he's unfamiliar with food in his mouth. It was super cute.

Anyways, that's it for the updates!

The "Weirdo Face"

A little Snippet

2011-02-27T15:00:00.001-08:00

Here's a link to a [lower quality, sorry] video Brant took of Owen from his phone. It's short, choppy, sideways-aligned, but super cute.

Have Fun.

http://blog.oneiricpantograph.com/post/3552340056/owen-and-mommy-play-before-naptime

new things

2011-02-25T20:34:00.000-08:00

I've been a complete slacker when it comes to regularly updating for folks. But I have a[n almost] six month old, so I have an excuse.

Anyways.

I'm updating y'all on everything new that's happened this month--some things you probably didn't need to know, but are going to be told nonetheless!

On Wednesday, February 9th, Owen rolled over ON PURPOSE for the first time! It was from his tummy to his back (the easier of the the two), and it was totally intentional. I was sick and giving him tummy time. I saw him struggling and struggling, then he did it! And landed a little hard on his head. He was almost ready to cry, but I was so excited I distracted him enough, I guess. I clapped and screamed (which is not good when you're sick; it totally drained all of my energy) and freaked out Colleen, who was coming up the driveway.
Since then he tries to roll over every time he's on his tummy. He does it about 78% of the time. He's so proud each time he does it~its the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

The very next day, Thursday 10th, Owen cut his first tooth! We went to Radiance's staff meeting (Colleen was gone, so I had no one to watch Owen), which he was EXCEPTIONALLY good at by the way, and Kristy asked if a tooth had popped through yet. I said not yet, but soon...and when we got home, I noticed it! I squealed & called Brant at work. It was great. I can't really get a picture of it though, sorry. He just wants to suck on my finger when I try to pull his lip down.

Since then he's cut one more, so now he has two bottom teeth. The second one (on your right when you're looking at him) is shorter than the first one, as they're still moving up. But they're so white! It's crazy! No nursing bites yet, which I'm thankful for, though his teething pain has heightened tenfold. I highly recommend Humphrey's Teething tablets for this.

And finally, Owen has discovered his penis. Starting yesterday, every single time I change his diaper, his hand goes down and tugs and pulls. You know, I thought I'd be embarrassed or not know how to react, but it's not like that at all. It's just a new discovery for him. So I'm like, 'yes babe, that's your penis. I need to put your diaper on now,' and that's it. It's almost cute, if I can describe it that way.

Anyway...that's about it! Except for how cute he is!

With Colleen, February 2011

Owen is 5 months!

2011-01-31T22:18:00.000-08:00

Owen's 5 months today! I can't believe it...

I just wanted to share some new pictures of Owen...so everyone can see how much he's growing!

Owen & Colleen

Big Boy Owen in his Walker!

Owen & Chris

Sad Owen, in stroller

Dad & Owen at the CoOp

He's getting bigger every day! Of course he is, but it's still surprising. We're taking TONS of pictures, so much so that I'll never be able to post even half of them here...I just want to have a way to remember everything about him. I already pour over his earlier pictures & grieve over him. Isn't that silly?? He's right here!

One of those Days

2011-01-27T21:39:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those days they warn you about. Where you feel like you can't make it, like you'll never succeed.
Today I felt like a horrible parent. And I can't believe the despair, the hollowness, and the guilt I felt. Owen's calmed down now; he's down for the night (let's keep our fingers crossed), and now I'm able to process all of the day.
As an 'attachment' centered parent, it's really hard to get my needs met, especially on days like today where Owen needed all of my attention all day, and refused to nap, and refused to eat. I wanted to scream, but instead burst into tears three times, and was mean. I was so...mean to him. I can't call it anything but that. And the worst part is that he didn't even notice. Colleen came in and rescued me, and while she was holding him, and I was crying, he leaned out to give me a kiss. He didn't even get the total meanness I was directing at him in my frustration. It's a blessing that he didn't, OMG it is...but that kiss made me feel 100x more guilty.

Ugh. I know all parents have been here; I know we all feel this way sometimes, and the thing is to ask for help. I know all this...and yet I still feel like a horrible person. Because that sweet little baby isn't meaning to be so high-mantainance. He's just being him.

How can you be frustrated with this face??!

Kisses from Mama

2011-01-12T00:06:00.000-08:00

Here's a video of Owen loving Mama's kisses, from December 12th.

2011

2011-01-03T19:35:00.000-08:00

2011 marks the beginning of big changes for us. Today was Owen's 'four month check up,' and he is officially 18 weeks old.

And...he weighed in at 22lbs, 4oz!!! Which, I guess, is HUGE. The nurse wasn't feeling well or something, because she rushed through so quickly, we didn't get his length, which really bums me out. Brant went back to ask her, but she was gone.

We had a TON of questions for our pediatrician, and she answered them beautifully. Owen is super healthy, and despite what people keep telling me, he DOES NOT need to eat solid foods yet <3

He has two teeth moving in on the bottom (and I am totally scared of nursing once they cut through, by the way). He is behaving and developing, Dr. Sipher says, like a 6 month old. One of the best things was when she put him on his belly, he totally found himself in the mirror, broke out in a gigantic smile, and started chatting at/with himself.

He was really fussy today :( He got what vaccinations we chose to inoculate him with, is teething, is a little congested, and didn't get much sleep. Right now he's nestled in Colleen's arms, passed out. I hope he feels better soon, because it breaks my heart.

...

Brant and Owen, Dec 2010

Also, other relevant news...

3 weeks ago he started really noticing his tongue, so much so that he started trying to mimic my movements with my tongue! (He can't do what I do, but he tries...) Around that time he also began to change his baby babble to nonstop, in a higher pitched tone. He's also really began to chat with himself when he sees himself in a mirror.
Also, I had him inclined on a couple flat pillows (this was about 1.5 weeks ago), and he crunched his baby abs and SIT UP!!!!!! He's only managed to do it that once, but now he tries all the time, and it is super, super cute. When we help him sit up he gets this self-satisfied look on his face. It is priceless.

So this is what it's like to be in love with your baby, huh?

Christmas Time

2010-12-29T01:13:00.000-08:00

Owen's first Christmas has come and gone. It was amazing, and challenging. Brant got bronchitis, and I had a sinus infection, followed by a nasty cold. But despite these challenges, we were able to see family and friends.

Some pictures:

Christmas morning

On his new playmat, from Great Grandma

Opening presents

And finally, one of my favorite pictures, that he may grow up and get mad that I posted:

Look at the drool.

We were trying to pose some Holiday pictures, for the card (see last post), but it didn't work out. Instead, we got this fabulous shot :)

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-20T21:50:00.000-08:00

Our 2010 Holiday Card

Happy Holidays to you!

Growing and Pains

2010-12-09T17:59:00.000-08:00

Owen's getting so big so fast. He's already three and a half months old, which is just ridiculous. They tell you it goes so fast, and it really really does.

Just a little update:

He's making new sounds every day. He's really striving to sit up on his own, and I think he's almost there. It's hilarious to see him struggle to stand, though he doesn't have the muscles for it...he strains and grunts and pushes himself up...I'm just like, 'whoa little guy, you're waaay too young for that!'.

Cheesing for the Camera

He's teething...which I know is a long process. He's all drooly and cranky, and it's so cute. Even if I get little time to myself.

His sleep pattern is regular, but late. He doesn't want to sleep until around 1am, then wakes mostly around 7am, to sleep again until 10:30am, then again until 12pm. If only we could get him to start this trend at 11pm instead of 1am! But we're working on it.

Napping on Dad. SO BIG!!

He's getting bigger and becoming more of himself every single day. I can't believe it.

Downtown for the Holidays

2010-11-28T19:06:00.000-08:00

Owen saw his first parade today!

We decided to go downtown for the annual Downtown for the Holidays event, mainly because Alchemy was giving away free bang trims (which I desperately needed) and 5 minute chair massage (which Brant desperately needed).

I always love talking to Alchemy's Melissa; technically you could say our businesses are 'rivals,' each promoting eco-friendly fare, each of us promoting natural and organic hair and skincare. But luckily we don't work that way! I love patronizing her store, recommending her to customers who are looking for something slightly different than what Radiance carries. And she gives a mean brow wax & dye.

After visiting Alchemy, stopping into Radiance, and viewing all the lovely craft-show style booths (so many ideas for a skin care buyer to look into!!), we headed to the Bread Peddler for some emergency nursing. One of our BFFs works there, and made me a fabulous tuna nicoise (my 1 fish of this kind per every like, 3 months). Sitting and nursing, suddenly the Holiday parade began. It was great to be able to sit inside, out of the cold and the loud music, and enjoy it from afar.

Though I have my own ideas about the parade (if you're gonna do a parade, please go all out. Don't just dress whatever you can in garland and call it a day), it was still pretty magical.

Tuckered out after the parade

Today really was a magical day. I love the holidays.

Cutie Bear

2010-11-22T18:32:00.000-08:00

Here's a super-short video of Owen amongst the bears in his bear suit. It's the perfect outfit for this snowy winter...let's just hope he doesn't grow out of it too soon.

He was pretty nonplussed at first...mostly because we weren't holding him...but then was okay.

Life in Video

2010-11-20T19:26:00.000-08:00

I know it's been quite a while since we added anything to our blog with Owen, and it'll probably continue to be intermittent for the foreseeable future. I hope you'll understand (I'm sure you will!), as having a baby & working make for little extra time. Thank you for your patience.

Brant has asked that I upload videos here and on our personal website, rather than on Facebook. I won't go into the reasoning (which is valid!), but warn you that you are about to be inundated with cute Owen videos. It's taken me a while to find the time--see above for details--to convert the videos we take to a smaller size, so the videos I post might be a month old or so. I'm so happy and grateful that we have the capacity to video record him as he grows! It's such a blessing, and a treat I know he'll enjoy when he's older. I wish I could watch videos of myself as a baby! I'm also so excited to be able to capture some of his life! I want to always remember him at this age, and in a month, 6 months, etceteras...and now I'll be able to see it all over again. A real blessing.

This video was taken about 2.5 weeks ago, so at a little over two months old. Owen loves it when we trail our finger over his mouth. Enjoy!

4 Weeks Old

2010-09-28T00:19:00.000-07:00

So it's been four weeks exactly since we (well, I) had Owen. And what a four weeks they have been! Not to bore any of you with the gory details of the birth, I'll just say it was Intense. And if anyone wants the details, let's go for coffee. I'd love a chance to talk about it, and I can finally enjoy coffee again!

The first week of caring for Owen was rough. Due to his size I had a lot of swelling so I had to remain side-lying for the entire first week of his life. Brant was almost like a single father during this time, and he was amazing. Absolutely incredible. This also made breastfeeding rough, since I couldn't sit up to nurse, so we had to supplement with formula for a little bit. It really broke my heart, and I'm not exaggerating. Luckily we found an organic formula, which made it a little easier to accept.

After the first week breastfeeding was still rough, so we saw a lactation consultant, and I am now pumping. Though he's only nursing for comfort at this stage, I am so happy to say he is getting fed exclusively breast milk, and when we nurse he latches on well. I thought of switching to primarily breast feeding, but I go back to work so soon he'll have to feed from a bottle anyways.

He's so sweet, you guys...you have no idea. And although I really, really, REALLY miss sleeping, I look at him and see he's totally worth it. 100%.

Owen is Here!

2010-09-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

Our son, Owen Joseph Dane Gillihan-Eddy, was born on August 30, 2010 at 11:53pm. He was 9lbs, 12 oz. He was born vaginally and without the use of pain medication.

As all is crazy right now, I can't really give an adequate update yet. I will though; I promise! In the meantime, here's a public link to some photos of the delivery and his first week of life. While there are no fully-naked shots, there are fluids in some of these pictures, just to warn you. I've cropped out any 'boob shots,' so no worries there.

Click here to see them.

Until next time...

Pregnancy pictures

2010-08-27T22:39:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd share a couple of my favorite pregnancy photos, while we're [all] waiting for baby to make is arrival. Eventually I'll upload the rest into an album and link to it. The photographer sent me all of them unedited, and a few edited, so we're waiting for the edited versions. Don't worry; each stretch mark will be there; she's just playing with the lighting levels etc., since some of them make my light skin seem pretty washed out. For an example, you can see the color difference between the first two (unedited) and the second two (edited). But I loved the first two so much, I couldn't wait to share them with you all.

Enjoy!

Profile shot

The Family

Holding my belly

Baby's moving

The Waiting Game

2010-08-22T17:45:00.000-07:00

Cara, watching Baby move in my belly

So we are four days 'late,' though (for the most part) we all know late/early is all relative, especially for first time mamas. On Thursday a birth doula informed us that research is showing most first time moms have a 41 week gestation, rather than the standard 40 week date, which would put us right on track.

Still, it's a little hard.

I feel like I have gratitude and impatience spiraling around me simultaneously. It's a wonderfully strange place to live. Because of this gift of 'lateness' I've gotten a chance to participate in some amazing last few days. Colleen mehndi'd my belly (for those who don't know, this is henna). Earlier she gave me a foot massage with her ISUN Sapphire Oil~super exquisite (and waay expensive) and very relaxing. These events are so special to me, because it's like I'm having a personal blessingway with my best friend.

When it was first applied; Colleen FREE HANDED the design!

After it set in (it sets in lighter)

Last night I also got the opportunity to see one of my best friends off. She's heading to New Mexico, and I'll miss her terribly. A small group of us gathered at our friend Ariel's house and chatted and loved on her. It was a great, bittersweet night. I hope this baby comes before she hits the road; she's waited this long only BECAUSE she wants to meet him, but the truck is rented and booked for the 26th, whether baby is here or not. I'll miss her so much.

So, even though we're still waiting, still impatient at times, it's such a blessing to be able to have had the past few days I've had. They've really been magical. And I don't feel as uncomfortable as everyone always told me I'd be. I feel fine. Things are definitely...moving forward~I can feel it, but it's not the misery I was lead to believe it would be.

And...now that it's the 22nd, baby, when he makes his debut, will officially be a Virgo!! We're stacking the world, folks...

Due Date

2010-08-18T12:26:00.000-07:00

So today is my due date. I know this is relatively meaningless~just a guess, a ball-park date. But it still makes me anticipate so much that it's a little ridiculous.

Up until a couple of weeks ago, I'd been certain baby'd come a little early. Then, due to family circumstances, I was asked (jokingly, of course!) not to have him until my due date, so that my mom could be there. It sounds silly, since many will tell you that the baby's going to come on her/his own time, but I really think we (baby and me) made a decision to wait until today. But now I don't know how much longer we'll be waiting!! I also realized last night that I might be holding him back a little, just until some last-minute projects are done. I've heard this happens sometimes, especially for first time moms; we have the power to stop or prolong our labor, based on our emotional comfort. If something doesn't feel safe, we won't go into labor.

Brant pointed out that if we wait just 4-5 days, he'll be a Virgo, rather than a Leo. I laughed, because in our house we have a running joke; it's two Sagittarius people vs me, the lone Virgo. It'd be hilarious to have another ally. I can imagine my little organized toddler baffling the hell out of Dad. How great would that be?!!

But the downside is that I have a very, very good friend--one of my best friends--leaving town very soon. In fact, she's only stayed in town this long to see my little baby. So I need him to get here before she has to leave!!

Anyways, that's the update. I have a 38 week belly picture:

Actually, soon I'll have a whole slew of 'professional' pregnancy pictures at 40 weeks (even some with Brant!) but I can't find the energy to upload them to my computer yet. They'll be here though...but you might see some pictures of baby first!!!

A Guide to Breastfeeding

2010-08-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

Click above for Free Ebook!

I just wanted to post, for all nursing (and potentially nursing) mamas, for anyone who wants to be educated, and everyone else, that Earth Mama Angel Baby released an Ebook titled, "A Comprehensive Guide to Herbs & Breastfeeding." I'm excited to read it~I'm not endorsing it yet, since I haven't read it, but I expect it to be great :)

Cheers!

The Baby Shower

2010-07-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday was our baby shower, coordinated by Colleen (with my overly-controlling help!) and hosted by Karin, at Karin and Andrea's house. (For those of you who don't know, Karin and Andrea are the owners of Radiance (my workplace), so Karin is my boss.) The shower was just wonderful.

It was such a busy day for Brant and myself (and we knew it would be). We started with our second of six childbirth classes, from 11am to 2pm, then went straight to the baby shower, at 3pm. Both events were potlucks, so we got to sample yummy food from different folks all day long!

We arrived at Karin's house and went straight to the backyard, where the shower was being held. Karin had set up vases of fresh flowers from around her house at various tables, and Colleen had set up game and craft stations at each table, as well as a meal roster sheet, and a phone list.

Vanessa took this shot of Brant @ the shower.

Super Cute, huh?

Though some couldn't make it at the last minute, we had a great turnout. Work friends, social friends, and family alike came. The day was so beautiful and peaceful, and we were so fortunate to be outside in the 85 degree weather! Karin's house is out by TESC's Organic Garden, so it's covered in trees. This made it degrees cooler than it could have been, which made the temperature perfect, with the sun filtering down through the trees. Later in the day, the mosquitoes showed up, which was...not fun, for any of us. In the end, that's a big part of what ended the party, some 3 1/3 hours later.

Things I loved:

I really loved that it was a potluck. We had asked each guest to bring a particular kind of dish, so that we wouldn't end up with all desserts, or all main dishes. In the end, we all fed each other, and the spread was delisious and well-rounded. Highlights included Karin's gluten-free coconut milk chocolate cake, Candace's pasta/veggie salad, and Dawne's yummy chocolate cupcakes. I also really enjoyed Vanessa's veggie spring rolls. There were much more yummy treats too...too many to name!

I also loved the fact that it was a little co-ed. It was outside, and designed for both Brant and myself. So we had some men there. My dad came, my little brother came, and so did our good friend Chris. It was really important to me that the shower celebrate Brant too, since he's doing such amazing supportive work during this time! I know all the hard stuff will be up to me (lol!!!), but I just wanted him to be honored as well.

I loved my friends and family mingling. I loved seeing my Mom there, at her first baby shower as Grandma. I loved that the people we love came and supported us and showed us nothing but love.

Thanks to everyone who came. It really was a wonderful day. And thanks for the wonderful, thoughtful gifts. We couldn't do this without you, and your gifts really help us afford to start this little one off to a great start.

Much love.

Strangers Should Know Better

2010-07-25T00:29:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note for this post...

Brant and I were at Value Village, looking for glass jars to make sun tea in, and an elder lady walked up to me and rubbed my belly.

I almost punched her.

And I'd thought I'd make it the whole pregnancy without having someone I don't know think they have the right to touch my person. Guess not.

I wish I'd been able to verbally defend myself, but I was so livid, all I could do was walk away as she asked when baby was due. I said 'August' in a mean way, but Brant politely responded, 'August 18th.'

I still kinda wish I'd hit her. But maybe I'm just being irritable.

36 weeks!!!

2010-07-20T20:56:00.000-07:00

So. I am officially 36 weeks along. This means only a couple (to a few) weeks left. We are *so* excited, and *so* nervous. And now we're also officially in cleaning mode. We've found some GREAT deals lately; the latest being a jungle set (which includes a bookshelf, a table, 2 chairs, and 2 bookends) for $25 dollars at the Goodwill. We need to buy some non-toxic paint to touch up some of the rough edges, but it'll be something he can use for many years to come.

Jungle Set

I'm getting bigger and bigger, but not as big as I thought. Apparently though, these last few weeks, baby will grow around a pound a week. So here comes the big part, I guess. I'm feeling CRAZY big movement; the kind where he pushes down on my nerves so I get pain down the inside of my legs, while simultaneously punching up towards my ribs. This tells me he's getting BIG!! He's also moving persistently, and for a long time. Then he goes to sleep for long periods. The midwives say this is exactly what should happen; he's starting a sleep and wake cycle, similar to when he is in the world and an infant.

Here's a picture I took to commemorate the 36 week mark:

36 weeks, baby!

Other things of note:

*Our baby shower's this Sunday. We're super-stokked.

*My in-laws are gifting us a new washer and dryer set, for our baby shower gift. This is such a generous act, I don't even know what to say!! We'd found some used ones for a pretty good price, but now we'll get a new set that we feel confident will last throughout all of our cloth diapering!

*My mom finally got to feel him move; it made me so happy.

*We began our prepared childbirth class, Birthing Roots, with Stacey Callaghan. She's amazing, and I definitely will post more later as our classes continue, each Sunday, from 11-2pm.

*I'm starting to get all sorts of weird sensations...such that I don't want to go into too much detail here. I just know my body's starting the slow preparation for him to come. I'll just say that I thought Braxton Hicks contractions were higher up...these have been...lower, and more menstrual cramp-esque than the tightening sensations I've had before. I'm being extra vigilant though, folks, so no worries!

Anyways, that's about it for now! So exciting!!!!

Attachment & Bonding

2010-07-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

There's just a few more weeks left, then Brant and I will have this little baby. We've been reading and talking more and more about what kind of parents we want to be~about how we want to raise our child. I've been prepping myself for the period just after birth, and just after we get him home...reading up on what to expect from the baby, from myself, from Brant, and from family and friends.

If anyone is breastfeeding, for the first or third time, I really REALLY suggest "Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding." This is a rich source not just about breastfeeding, but about beginning your life with your baby. I suggest it to seasoned parents too because it reexamines wide-held beliefs about parenting and breastfeeding in particular.

Bumper Cover: my current favorite

I love Dr. Sear's "The Baby Book." I absolutely adore it. While it is more mainstream than other approaches, I really am in full support of the attachment parenting model he proposes.

It scares me, though, realizing how devoted I'll need to be. How present. It's not about having baby sleep, and me settling him into the bassinet (later the crib), and doing my own thing. It's not about me breastfeeding, and supplementing with formula. It's about me being with/wearing/breastfeeding baby ALL OF THE TIME. It's completely immersive. To the point that my going back to work will be with the baby, and if I can't have him there, then I can't work as much. And I think it's important that we do it this way.

When Brant and I were reading and talking, I had this realization that I am the primary caregiver. That in the beginning, at least, my bond with our son must be of primary importance, so we can properly attach, so I can read his cues. I suddenly felt a little...alone. Like I have more of a responsibility to parent this child than he does, at least to begin with. Brant must be there to bond in his own way, and to support me and my needs, but that I still hold the bulk of the responsibility...from pregnancy, to giving birth, to breastfeeding this little one.

I know it'll be okay. It'll be wonderful. It's just a little...overwhelming.

Secondly, I'm worried about some (not all!) of my friends and family, and how they'll react/respond to my parenting choices. One main criticism of attachment parenting is that others more 'traditionally' raised feel like attachment parents are spoiling their child. I definitely have some friends/family in this paradigm, who I am afraid will try to make me parent differently. Or gossip about it to my other friends/family...about how I'm coddling my son. And this really bothers me.

I've always been sensitive to criticism of my beliefs, and I've always believed things that are not...the norm for my family, or many of my friends. But if people start questioning my parenting, behind my back, I'll be devastated. And if they start questioning it to my face, I don't know how I'll respond. Seriously.

One thing I love that Dr. Sears mentions in "The Baby Book," is that Brant's role during the first month is to be the gatekeeper. He suggests that Brant filter any well-wishing but ill-timed advice from guests that may oppose my parenting philosophy, if it's upsetting me. Dr. Sears even suggests Brant filter guests completely, so that I don't have challenging visitors at first!

I think it's important for me to state that I know people have the best of intentions, that there is only love and the desire to share helpful advice. And I don't want ANYONE to walk away from this post thinking that they shouldn't offer up advice. I welcome it, truly (I am only hoping that if we have different parenting philosophies, that you will respect my choice, and maybe time your advice appropriately (eg: not just after or during labor, lol!) ).

I appreciate each and every one of you who choose to help me through this wonderful, difficult time. I feel part of a very special group of mothers, grandmothers, sisters, brothers, fathers, each of whom have walked down this same initiatory path. I know you're waiting for me on the other side.

The STRETCH MARKS Post

2010-06-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of Brant and me at the Farmer's Market this past Sunday. I realized I don't have a lot of candid, clothed preggo pictures of me, since I'm usually the one holding the camera...and I didn't want to regret not having some. So in these final weeks I'll be doing my best to get other, less posed preggo shots, so baby can see them in the future.

And, of course, here's one of Brant being both annoyed and patient with me, that I'm taking pictures....

*****

Now, here's the real topic of this post: Stretch Marks.

In order to cope with the fact that I'm getting new stretch marks, I've decided full disclosure is best. It's almost compulsory these days; all of my close friends have had to deal with me lifting up my shirt and showing them my new 'battle scars' (though I prefer not to call them that. This isn't a battle. This is magnificent). I've gotten this feeling that if I am just as open about them as possible, they won't hold any negative power over me.

And, though I'd rather not have them, I'm still in some sort of awe.

Here's a close up (the stretch marks are on the bottom of my belly):

They're lighter than my other ones from my adolescence~I really think it's because I've been applying belly oils and lotions.

And you know, I told myself if I got stretch marks, I wouldn't stop posting bare bellied pictures and such; I don't want to promote shame of something so natural.

******

And finally (though I know this post is a conglomeration of A LOT of things...)here are some 32 week belly shots. Maddy even makes a cameo in these!

This one is actually my favorite:

And the long view too, with Maddy looking up:

And that's about it for this week's post!

Reality is Setting In

2010-06-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

Little by little, it's hitting me that really soon we're going to actually have a little person with us. I'm only six weeks away from full term, under eight weeks away from my due date, and if this little babe was born right now, he'd most likely be okay.

He doesn't let me forget the reality of the situation either; he's getting more active by the minute, and some times I just have to lean back and let him kick and turn and adjust for a while, because I can't do much else when my insides are being jostled around!

I've forgotten, at times, the end result of this. There's this pregnancy we're going thru--but afterwards he'll be here. And we'll be parents forever. It's scary, it's overwhelming, and I'm still finding myself excited about it, when I'm not about to faint!

Here's the dinosaur lamp we're putting in his room.

We're still trucking along though, doing our best to make sure we're ready (as ready as we can be!), while still trying to savor our last few weeks without the responsibility of parenthood.

This is such a surreal experience~I can't even begin to sum up the jumble of confusing emotions behind it!

(Thanks for listening though~or reading, rather!)

Doula(s)

2010-06-15T21:37:00.000-07:00

We had our initial consultation with a birth doula tonight. It went great. I know we should interview many more, and I have cards/websites/contact information for 5 others, but we might have found our doula in this one. We chose to interview her first because she's our top choice. Her name is Nicole, and her business is Red Raspberry Doula (Herbies should get the connection!).

We met at Caffe Vita tonight, and immediately there was a naturalness to our interaction. She is so...knowledgeable and capable...without hiding behind it. It was clear that she was being herself, not acting professional. She spoke well, spoke to being a support for Brant as well, which is so important to us. She also spoke to her experiences working in hospitals and at home births.

She makes herbal baby & mama products too, and they are part of the birth doula package! The ingredients are simple and effective, and this makes the buyer in me happy :)

I also love her website, specifically the simple design:

I've see her around town for years, and hopefully she'll be our birth doula!

As a side note, we are very, VERY lucky! Not only are we going to have a birth doula, but we are also gifted to have a good friend of ours assist us after the birth for her postpartum doula training. She's in school for this certification, and must assist 3 families. She has asked us if we feel comfortable having her (uh, YES!) so we've accepted.

We know how fortunate we are...we're not gloating or anything...just very, very lucky!

28 Thru 31 weeks Belly pictures

2010-06-14T23:22:00.000-07:00

So I promised pictures, and I'm a lady of my word...

28 weeks pregnant:

31 weeks pregnant (today!):

And also...a personal favorite of mine...a belly comparison pic of me and my cousin Julie. She's nearly 2 months behind me...due in October :)

We took this picture today at Italia, the yummiest organic pizza place on the Westside (they support GRUB, so please support them!). It was a great day; my cousin and grandma met me at Barnes & Knoble after my pregnancy massage this afternoon. We then got food & hit the Goodwill. Good times.

30 weeks & Stretch Marks

2010-06-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

So I've been procrastinating about updating since I have pictures I need to upload, and have even more that I'd like to take. I've been trying to hold off on updating until I get those done, so I could at least post a picture or two...but it's taking so long, so I decided to update a little bit anyway.

At 30 weeks, I've gotten my first string of stretch marks. They're really tiny, not super bright yet, and all on the underside of my belly.

I'm surprised that I'm not super-devastated about it. At first I was; when I saw the first one, it was really tough. I felt like a failure. Like although I've been battling so many physical and emotional hardships throughout this pregnancy, I was at least spared stretch marks, and that was something I could be grateful for. And then one showed up. I immediately ran into the living room and wailed to Brant and Colleen about it, in tears. And I won't lie, it's been a challenge to watch each little one come into form under my belly. I've been vigorously applying 3x the stretch oils. But at the same time, I'm really coming to accept them. Now, as they come into form, I look. I run my fingers over them. I rub them. I try to accept them as who I now am.

I think it's a good (and difficult) opportunity for me to let go of some of my body images issues. They physical is not where I find the point of my life. I might be being given this as a gift and challenge, a challenge for me to let go of my attachments to a particular type of physical beauty. And I want to rise up to the challenge. I want to be that girl who wears bikinis post-baby, even though my stretch marks are out there for all to see. I want to sport my mid-drift, neither proud nor self-concious. I want it to be a non-issue. It's not about making or taking a stand, it's about it (this attachment to 'looks') being so beside the point, that it shouldn't even be a topic. The point is this baby. The point is family. The point is love being a force that transforms all manifestations of the physical anyway.

Successful Appointment & Self-Image Woes

2010-05-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

It's funny, every time I sit down to write a blog entry, my mind goes entirely blank. I have all this stuff to share, to mull over, to write about, and then it just...dissipates. Disappointing.

I guess I'll try to recreate, once again.

I've been having significant challenges with pregnancy lately. I keep comparing myself with other pregnant ladies who are more active and more in shape than I am. I keep listening to current mothers who tell me their tales of working full time until they went into labor, of feeling the best they've felt in their entire lives, and it's challenging. My experience has not been like that.

I ache. I get a medical pregnancy massage weekly--not just because I can--because I need to. I've had to leave work early multiple times because I'm too sore to be on the floor and help customers. Last week I pulled some sort of muscle when I went bowling. Bowling. While others are playing baseball, walking & biking, swimming, and active, I had to sit out two turns because bowling was too much. I groan in my sleep every night, each time I have to flip over, because my body protests.

I'm still dealing with breakouts. I'm sweating more than I've ever sweated~including when I used to dance. I have crazy love handles on my sides, and it's a challenge to walk to the bus stop without being winded.

I am not glamourous. And it's hard. I always had an image in my head of if/when I got pregnant, that I'd want to be that perfect preggo woman who posed nude in magazines, perfectly tanned and doing yoga asanas. Silly, I know, but it was devastating when that wasn't the case.

I am grateful, though. I am so fortunate that I don't yet have stretch marks. Most of my breakouts are confined to my shoulders and back, so there's not a ton on my face. I'm not swelling. My face looks the same as ever~no extra weight there. People tell me I look beautiful. I smile at my preggo belly. I have a lot to be so thankful for, and I am.

It's just that the other side of the coin sometimes shows up out of the blue, and it is *so hard* to deal with when it comes. Especially when I have seasoned parents imparting well-intentioned but badly timed wisdom that really just terrifies me rather than is helpful.

In other news:

I only today realized how much last month's midwife appointment got to me, and how horrible I've felt since then. It came to me when I was preparing for today's appointment, and I was freaking out about being weighed. I didn't want to know how much I'd gained. And when we went in, I was super-nervous because they told me the same student was still on her rotation and asked if I was okay with her being there again. I was proud of myself though, because I said 'yes, that's fine, but I'd like Karen to be there too. Last appointment she wasn't there, and I have questions specific for her.'

I'm so glad the student was still there, because it helped me work through the challenges and fears I'd built up from the last appointment. Instead of avoiding her, I got to face her and have a positive interaction, which really helped heal last month's wounds. Baby is measuring at EXACTLY where he should be; not a week ahead or a week behind. I've gained 0 lbs from my last appointment, which is great because I don't need to gain more just yet. My blood pressure is nice and low, and baby's heart beat is 142 bpm.

The other 'highlight' of the appointment was that this was my week to get screened for gestational diabetes. So, I had to avoid any food/drink/gum besides water for an hour before the appointment, then go in and drink a sugary drink and 1 hour later have them draw blood to see how I metabolize the glucose. I got to choose between orange and lemon-lime, and I chose the lemon-lime because it was clear, so at least there wasn't any artificial coloring in it. I do have to say, though, it tasted HORRIBLE. It was literally like drinking a concentrate or syrup of Sprite or 7 Up without any water added to it, and I believe it was 16 oz. Disgusting. And afterwards I was wired on all the sugar, so much so that the first part of the regular appointment was super-embarassing because I was acting all cracked-out. And I was especially annoyed/worried about how baby was doing with all the sugar, because he started jumping around like crazy. Poor baby. But he's super strong, and totally fine, I know it.

And finally, we've been wracking up amazing stuff from our loved ones for baby. We're super grateful, and some time soon (I promise!) I'll get around to posting highlight pics. Our family has so far given us some great baby clothes, which is such a relief that we won't have to buy so much! We're really happy, so thanks to everyone. Thanks also to everyone for being so understanding about our ethics (environmental, corporate-related, and organic-lifestyle) when it comes to this. I know not everyone believes what we believe, but it really means a lot to us that y'all care enough about us to trust that we're doing right by our beliefs.

So, until next time...

Belly pics, weeks 22 & 25

2010-05-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

I know I've been lazy about posting belly pictures, so here are some fresh ones. I'll label them for you. I wanna warn you (as you'll know if you've seen my belly pics before) these are pretty racy pics~I pose bare-bellied. You've been warned!

Week 22 & 1/2

Week 22 & 1/2 (front view)

And now, this past week, week 25. Tomorrow I am 'officially' 26 weeks!

Week 25.5

Week 25.5, other side

And lastly, I wanted to share with y'all some of my belly button pics. I'm sure you can tell from the above ones that it's really poking out, but these next ones really capture the evolution:

Week 20

Week 22.5

Week 25.5

I know these pictures aren't the highest quality, but you get the idea. He's growing pretty fast, and also my belly button is about to pop! People tell me they can see it through my clothes :)

New Nutrition and Challenging Appointment

2010-05-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I last updated any news about the baby or the pregnancy in general. So I'm writing this up, in between sleeping and sneezing and blowing my nose, because I seem to have finally succumbed to this cold both Brant and Colleen have had.

Baby's moving around a lot. We still can't feel him from the outside, but I feel him so much it's a little ridiculous that Brant can't share this with me. I guess it's still my little gift, for now.

The last appointment with the midwives was difficult. Emotionally and practically. We had, with our permission, a nurse-practitioner in school for midwifery on her 2nd clinical rotation, rather than Karen or Sharon. This practitioner was great in many respects--friendly, warm, joking, understanding--but she still came from a clinical paradigm that was a little difficult to interact with.
My blood pressure had spiked from the previous appointments. It was still low, and very very healthy, but it moved away from the past levels, and showed a spike in the trend I'd been setting. So she asked me about it, asked if I'd been stressed out lately, been eating more salt than usual, all those questions. It's funny how defensive I felt. And this was just the beginning.

She then told me I'd gained 31 pounds so far. This was a shock to me, as I've really only gained it in my belly, breasts, and a little in my thighs. I look the same all over the rest of me, so 31 pounds seemed like a lot. Still, the 'normal' (imagine my snort here, please) range of weight gain is 25-40lbs, so I'm still doing fine, especially since many ladies gain much of their weight in the second trimester and taper off. The practitioner said as much, but she did start questioning me about my eating habits, which made me want to smack her. Was I eating more starches than normal? How about sweets? I could go crazy with vegetables and fruits, but I should watch out for other things with more calories. When I told her I'm a vegetarian, and my challenge has been to get enough calories, it humbled her a little bit. I wasn't going out to McDonalds or Eagans and eating burgers daily.

It really pissed me off, mostly because it made me feel bad about the care I'm taking of myself and our baby. Not only was my blood pressure slightly irregular, but I may or may not be gaining too much weight. I was nearly in tears. I felt...almost ashamed. And both of these things were baffling, considering, just 3.5 weeks earlier, babe was weighing in at the 56% which isn't too big at all!

To be fair, on reflection, I have been eating extra sugar lately (mostly in the form of Newman's Own mint-o's...they're the organic version of Oreos and DELICIOUS). I realized that ever since I've been able to eat food again, I've been relishing the fact that, once more, it tastes good! So I've been reeling it in, cutting out the sugar and making sure I'm eating my sprouted grains again rather than refined wheat.

It was just a hard appointment. That, and what I thought was a yeast infection was STILL a BV infection (gardnerella). When I was treated for this earlier in the pregnancy, it apparently hadn't fully left. The challenge is that BV is treated with Flagyl, an anti-parastic medication that is clinically proven to cause cancer in lab rats. Before this information was printed on the label of the medication, I'd taken it at least 2 times in my life, and I only took it this third time because I want to be as healthy as possible for this little baby. But I refused to take it again. It didn't work. It chronically doesn't work in my body. And if I develop cancer later on, is that going to benefit my little one? Hell no.

So, in tandem with my own natural remedies (nutrients, garlic, etc), I agreed to take an antibiotic that is the second best choice for a bacterial infection like this. It's safety for pregnancy is rated category B, so this better do the trick, because I'm not taking it again.

I've reinvigorated my health regimen: inulin (as a prebiotic fiber) daily, Healthforce Nutritional's Fruits of the Earth (water-solulable antioxidant complex) daily, New Chapter's All Flora daily, 1 TB molasses daily (for the calcium), and 1 qt infusion of nettles, daily (dark enough to look almost black). And of course, my prenatals and DHA (both from New Chapter).

Belly Button Saga

2010-04-19T23:54:00.000-07:00

It's weird. Some would (and do) say it's gross. It's changing, morphing day-by-day, and making me a little queasy. It's my belly button.

I know it's a bizarre thing to focus on, out of the entirety of this pregnancy, but still~it's impossible for me to ignore! I just don't understand it. Each day it seems on the verge of popping out, but it hasn't quite yet; it seems like it needs just a little extra push. I'm used to having 'an innie,' not 'an outie,' and this in-between crap is hard to handle. I'm impatient.

I think the other un-handleable thing about it is that my stomach is getting so...taut, and so is my belly button...and it feels weird/uncomfortable when I accidentally brush it...and you can see it through my shirts, the top half of it sticking out...It's weird, okay?

I thought of taking photos to document it's journey from innie to outie, but at this point it's so close...it'd be a pretty short series.

Anyways, I'll finish my rant.

Birthing From Within

2010-04-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

I am super-excited to announce that an old friend of mine and birth doula in Portland, Oregon is coming to Olympia to teach an intensive Birthing from Within childbirth class! We're hosting her at Radiance (which I am super-excited about as well) towards the beginning of July, I believe. The dates are still up in the air, but if she gets a good response she may do more than one class.
For those of you who don't know much about Birthing from Within, I really suggest you get the book; we carry it at Radiance, but I'm also sure you can find it used. The intensive class is $195 per couple. I'll scan in a flyer soon and post it.

A little information from Pam England, author of Birthing from Within:

Are you wondering, what does "birthing from within" mean? Or, how does a mother "give birth from within"? In a word: awareness. Rather than acting from conditioning (primarily from fear, avoiding blame or conflict, and believing experts know more), a woman can prepare by being pregnant in-awareness. Each day she can bring attention to what she is telling herself and what she is feeling in her physical and emotional body when she receives information, advice, or has an impulse to act...

How much information do you need?

When you are listening within, you may better know what is motivating you to want to know something. Preparing to "birth from within" doesn't mean you won't read or research anything about birth ever; it does mean you will know from a deeper, calmer place if you do need to research, or get a second opinion, or take action of any kind. You may find yourself doing just what needs to be done in the moment, instead of doing everything you can to avoid or control certain outcomes.

This is such exciting news that I had to share it right away...I'll post more about it as info comes up, but if anyone is interested in participating, send me an email (or comment!) and I'll connect you with her. The class space is limited, so talk to me soon!

Tiny Flutters

2010-04-08T17:51:00.000-07:00

We've been patiently waiting to feel this little boy move. And Brant is still patiently waiting. I am not so patient at this moment. I know he's fine in there, and I know that I'm well within the range of 16-22 weeks, and also that first time moms don't recognize the movements as such because at first they're so subtle. According to the Bump, you may only notice them if you're lying or sitting really quietly, and they can be pretty infrequent at first.

Another factor is that my placenta is anterior, which means it's lining the front wall of my uterus. So any movements he's making are still being masked by the placenta.

There are split seconds when I think I feel something. Probably 4 times, in the past 2 weeks. And maybe it's him, but they're so subtle, I can't wait until I'm definitely sure it's not my insides shifting (or gas!). And then, seperately, I definitely feel movement of a different kind multiple times a day, that I've been attributing to intestinal gas. So I don't know.

I guess it's just time for me to be more patient :)

Baby Boy Gillihan-Eddy

2010-04-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

By now I've posted on FB and Twitter, and called my relatives to let everyone know that we're having a boy. I'm super-excited! About 2 months ago there was this one moment when I felt and said out loud to Brant, 'you know, I think this is a boy.' Ever since that time, neither of us have been able to shake the feeling. Honestly, I'd been hoping for a girl. I haven't let myself be honest with anyone other than Brant and Colleen about how much I'd wanted a girl. So when people asked what we thought it would be, I wouldn't want to say that I have the feeling it's a boy because I was still wishing for a girl and worried I'd jinx it or something.

So when we had the ultrasound on Thursday there was a small stab of pain for a split second when the technician announced it was a boy. I won't lie, it was there. But then, miraculously, I was so incredibly happy and in awe of my baby boy, that the other feelings just melted away. I realized in that darkened room just how lucky we are and how happy I am to be able to bring this little person to life. I was so in love, so blissed out, and felt so fortunate to be able to see this little boy for the first time.

Here are some (blurry) pictures of the ultrasound:

This one is the one where you can tell it's a boy (note the two small circles on the left-hand side:

Can't you just see how beautiful he is?? He has such a clear profile and an adorable upturned nose! If his nose stays this shape, we'll definitely know he took that trait from me :) Brant and I keep smiling and joking at the possibility that this boy might have red hair~my biological father had red hair, and my great-grandfather and uncle on my mother's side had/have red hair. We laugh because if he comes out with red hair, eyes are going to be super speculative about whether Brant's the real father! I don't know why we think it's so funny, but we do.

Now that we know it's a boy, we have more and more preparing to do. The biggest one I think for now, is we have to have the circumcision conversations. There are so many pros and cons on both ends, it's hard to decide. But ultimately I know Brant will probably make the decision in the end because, well, he has more experience than I do.

I'm not sad that we're not having a girl, and I am. But I think it would be the same if we were having a girl too. I'd be sad and not-sad about it. They both come with different sets of challenges and blessings. I'm sad that I can't dress my little girl up in Easter outfits, and am worried that I might unconsciously be more aloof with a boy than I would with a girl. But I'm also thankful that I don't have to deal with irrational jealousies at 'Daddy's girl,' and it'll be wonderful to get the chance to bond with my little boy.

Our Crib!!!!

2010-03-31T22:08:00.000-07:00

I am so excited!! Colleen surreptitiously bought us, as an early baby-shower gift, our dream crib. It is Sorelle's Sophia crib, which is a convertible crib that coverts from baby to toddler to day-bed to full-blown adult bed! She even bought the add-ons to facilitate all of the conversions for later. Here are a couple images:

This first one I've put on here so you can see what it looks like all dressed up in a functional room. It's a bit darker wood than the one she chose for us. She chose (perfectly!) a Cherry Pine finish, which is still dark, but with red tones, like the second image.

And here's the exact color of our (well, our baby's) crib:

Some other features of the crib, from the distributor's website:

Suitable for newborns and toddlers, the Sophia Four in One Pine Crib can convert from a crib to a day bed, toddler bed and full-sized headboard and footboard.
Features:

Crib easily converts to daybed, toddler bed, and full size bed

Recessed hardware for baby's protection

Non-toxic finish

Exceeds all U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission Standards

Available in Cherry Pine

Crib has 3 mattress levels, so that mattress can be lowered as child grows and is able to stand in crib

Optional full size conversion rails transform crib into toddler bed, daybed, or full bed

Also, it is eco-friendly, and JPMA certified (though I don't know what this means).

We are just so grateful to her for doing this. It is seriously one HUGE weight off of our shoulders, and we are so happy it is both sustainable by virtue of being more eco-friendly than others and because we can get a lot of use out of it. I also am super-stoked because it's beautiful. We don't really have a ton of money to throw down, and we've been looking for good deals on Craigslist and stuff. We've seen some beautiful pieces, but most of the ones I dream about are a little out of my price range ($1400 for a crib, folks?? Seriously???). But this one is a dream!

And we can get beautiful organic cotton, bamboo, and hemp bedding to go with it. If we can swing it financially (follow the link ahead, and you'll see how pricey they can get), I'm thinking of Holy Lamb's crib bumper and cover, maybe, along with the mattress pad/topper and wool puddle-preventer. This way we can purchase an affordable, synthetic mattress but still make sure baby touches the most natural stuff possible.

Super exciting...

20 week pictures

2010-03-29T22:58:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of pictures of me at 20 weeks.

That's it. There you go. 20 weeks and 20 lbs heavier. No stretch marks yet...fabulous!

I'm Halfway There: Updates

2010-03-28T22:44:00.000-07:00

Some updates:

My belly is growing larger; I know this is an inevitable thing but it still is super intense and still slightly alien. My belly button is turning strange shapes. It's nowhere near becoming an outie yet, but it is definitely different than usual. The pearly skin on my abdomen is getting thinner and thinner; you can see little veins through the alabaster. It's all pretty gothic, heh. I haven't gotten any stretch marks yet, and I am liberally using Earth Mama Angel Baby's body butter underneath their stretch oil. Once this runs out, I'll go back to my faithful Weleda pregnancy body oil.

I'm just starting to understand some of the typical pregnant problems, especially regarding my relationship with Brant. It's a struggle. I can't feel intimate or sexy very often at all, because each time I do, I look down and realize that there's a baby there, which totally kills the mood. It's almost funny, if it wasn't so frustrating some times. It's hard for me to look down and be me, then suddenly realize that actually it's us. I'm no longer just me, but a we, and sometimes this little one being here makes what used to be parts of my normal life seem wholly inappropriate. But no worries. I know this too shall pass.

I got a haircut. Finally. It really made me feel much, much better. On the same lines as above, sometimes, with my body becoming distended, getting a little pregnancy acne on my shoulders, my hormones causing more sebum to be produced, I often feel so not beautiful. My hair was OUT OF CONTROL. The top was (is still!) oiler than ever (my tea tree hair stuff can't touch it) but the rest of it was frizzing like crazy. And knowing that I can't recolor it (at least, I wont, personally) until after the baby comes, I decided I wanted a change. So it's cut. It is not shorter at all (she trimmed the ends, but you can barely tell) but layered all-over. It's what they call "emo hair" (super embarassing to say), but it doesn't really look emo on me. My hairstylist called it a modern mullet, which I think is HILARIOUS. Go ahead and google "emo hair" and you'll see what it looks like. Then imagine that my hair automatically preps it up a bit--to my chagrin, and you'll know what it looks like exactly.

Tomorrow is my monthly appointment with the midwife. Colleen's coming with me to this one. Brant is desperately needed at work, so she can come and hear the baby's heart beat for herself! I also need to schedule the ultrasound. As soon as I do that, we can know what gender this little one is (though, she/he may choose to change it later, so it's a little silly...but still!).

Natural Relief for Heartburn & Acid Reflux

2010-03-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

I have been having such a challenge with acid reflux & heartburn lately! Usually it's just the acid reflux--which is uncomfortable, but livable--but occasionally I've been getting severe heartburn that has sucked majorly. Like, someone-is-digging-into-my-chest-with-a-shovel sucked. I know this is common (some folks even tell me baby's more likely to be a boy because of it), so I thought I'd share the things that have worked the best for me:

1. Boiron's Acidil.

It's homeopathic, and works wonders. Last week at work when I thought I might cry or stop breathing from the pain, I took some that were in our staff supplement drawer (I love working at Radiance!) and within 5 minutes the pain was completely gone. (As a side-note: eating like, 20 green olives stuffed with garlic cloves will give you heartburn. Just a warning)

2. Earth Mama Angel Baby's Heartburn Tea.

It's ingredients include marshmallow root, lemon balm, chamomile, spearmint, and red raspberry leaf. It's intended as 'an after-meals soother' or preventative, but the chamomile in particular really helps me when I'm in need.

3. Single herbs like chamomile (see the tea above) or slippery elm bark are also helpful. I've even experienced relief from ginger chews, as long as they have actual ginger in them. Some herbs I've avoided while in the midst of heartburn is peppermint. You'll notice the tea above has spearmint in it, and this is okay as it is much milder and does not have the same effect on the esophagus as peppermint. I do drink peppermint on occasion before meals to aid digestion, but in the throws of acid reflux, I stay away from it.

4. Finally, plain yogurt or kefir can work wonders on both acid reflux and heartburn.

I hope this is helpful to anyone (pregnant or not) who suffers from these two conditions from time to time, and if not, I hope it wasn't too boring for the rest of you!

Love

2010-03-04T19:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, while receiving a crystal light therapy treatment (chakra clearing with the help of stones, but more complex) I realized, right there on the table, that I love this baby.

I love my little unborn baby.

Homeopathy and Pregnancy

2010-03-01T13:29:00.000-08:00

Not to belabor the point, but I wanted to say once again how happy I am with WomanCare. Last Thursday we had our first official appointment with one of the midwives, Sharon, and it was excellent.
We heard the baby's heart beat again (150bpms; what a little worker she/he/it is!) and I was able to ask questions I'd written down about natural pain relief. I was pretty sure that, being in a hospital setting, I wouldn't be 'allowed' to bring in herbal pain relief, but I wanted to ask just to be sure. Sharon was really helpful; she said she personally would rather stay away from it herself as she doesn't know enough about herbal medicine. I liked that she was honest, but didn't take the power away from me. It is a little upsetting since I've been reading Susan Weed's Wise Woman for the Childbearing Year (if you haven't read her Wise Woman Herbal, please do immediately!!) and have seen some great herbal adjuncts to visualization, relaxation, and breathing. And I have no doubt if I wanted to I could smuggle it in, but towards the end, I wouldn't be able to hide that I was taking it, and quite frankly, I don't want to have to worry about it.
I did ask about homeopathy, which she was in support of, although she said certain nursing staff at the hospital may be not so supportive. In this way, I don't really care, as most folks who aren't in support of homeopathy aren't in support of it for 2 reasons: 1) They don't understand it/haven't researched what it is or 2) They aren't opposed to it, but just don't think it works.
I have no interest in arguing with the first group, since they are most likely in an allopathic paradigm and aren't even interested in becoming educated (remember the zinc/Zycam issue?).
The great thing about homeopathy is it doesn't interfere with herbal or synthetic medicine. It doesn't interfere with anything, and unless I'm taking a constitutional dose, only good things will happen or nothing at all. There are no side-effects. Either it has a good effect, or no effect. Win-win, I think.
The subject of homeopathy got me back into my homeopathic studies, especially for some of my pregnancy-related issues, or regular issues I must be careful in treating while I'm pregnant. Homeopathy is perfect for pregnancy because of the above issues. It will have no effect on the baby, no side-effects, and no drug/nutrient interactions.
Apparently vaginitis (both BV/gardnerella and yeast) are very common during pregnancy, especially if (like me) you've been treated with an antibiotic. Luckily, my midwife (this is why we love this place) has a policy of not preventatively or perpetually treating vaginitis with antibiotics unless the client is actively showing symptoms. This means they won't automatically swab you and run tests to 'make sure' it's gone if you've been treated. They believe these things are normal, usually resolve themselves, and aren't a challenge unless they're presenting symptoms. So this brings me back to homeopathy! Rather than relying on course after course of antibiotics or/and antifungals, I remembered that I can use homeopathic remedies (either pulsatilla or sepia) to treat this.
In treating something chronic (which BV often is, and nobody knows why) homeopathy is often a great place to start, especially if conventional or other alternative methods haven't worked. This, in combination of affirmations, should give me positive results. It's what I'm hoping for.
Lastly, I'd like to share a related Unity affirmation that will help me throughout my life, and I hope it will help you:

I release Illness. Anything less than complete wholeness is powerless over me.
No matter what course may be pursued or how the healing law is employed, the goal is to establish wholeness, to evoke the perfect activity of the life force which renews, rebuilds and sustains the body.
~Connie Fillmore, The Unity Guide to Healing

Excitement instead of Dread

2010-02-20T10:47:00.000-08:00

I read, in Lieberman's "Easing Labor Pain," that by birth time our baby will have been experiencing lots of sounds similar to a busy street! That from all of my internal sounds (digestion, heart beat, etc), my voice, other voices, the baby is fine coming out into a room full of noise, and hushed voices aren't necessary. So now I'm totally obsessed with the idea of talking so she/he/etc can hear me, and making sure Brant does the same.

I was reading some of the descriptions of little alert babies being born and cradled on their mamas, and for the first time I actually felt...excited...about this. I'm just in awe, imagining our little baby being in this world, looking around and taking it all in before she/he/etc sleeps.

I'm so relieved to be feeling more of the joy and wonder of this, instead of the fear and unexpectedness.

The Sanctuary of Woman Care

2010-02-18T14:12:00.000-08:00

My Woman Care appointment today was just amazing.

Last week I had a meet and greet consultation with Sharon, one of the 3 nurse midwives that operate Woman Care. Brant came with me, and it was a perfect fit. The waiting room is about a quarter of the size of Olympia ObGyn, with two rows of 3 chairs, a couch, a rocking chair, and a child's rocking chair. The walls are a cream color, with a wine accent wall on one side. Beautiful maternal art hangs on each wall.
Sharon was warm and welcoming, and also very professional. Immediately following the appointment we arranged to have our files transferred and I scheduled my first appointment with the nurse (today) and my subsequent initial appointment with one of the midwives (next week).

Today I was ushered into a cozy little office, where I lounged on a comfortable couch and chatted with Barbara(?) as she and I reviewed my medical history. She offered much information about Woman Care's philosophy, from physicals to breast-feeding, that really gave me a sense that I belong here, with these wise women. She also offered up anecdotes that made me smile and served to remind me of issues Brant and I will need to consider in the future. And as she is also a doula, she really helped put me at ease. There was a moment where I got really emotional, when discussing my previous care at Olympia ObGyn, and she was so supportive and gentle, letting me cry a little.

Some little facets to note:
These ladies are nurse midwives, and as such are quite in their element in a hospital setting. Barbara has worked with Sharon and Karen for over twelve years; they form such a great team and they really know one another.
I was relieved to hear that they don't complete as many 'routine' pelvic exams as other offices. Barbara was so funny when she said, "You don't need to feel a woman's cervix to know if she's in labor; just look at her face. She'll tell you." She said, quite wisely, I think, they check a woman's cervix as-needed; many women who have a rock-hard cervix go into labor and deliver that night, and some women are dilated 5cm and stay that way for over a week. That said, it happens often, and especially toward the end, but not in the same way I'd been lead to believe.
She also said that (in normal conditions) after delivery baby immediately goes on mama for skin-to-skin contact (or dad, if mama prefers) for at least an hour. That made me feel really safe. And she also told me about that the standard treatment of the baby post-delivery (vitamin K shot, Hep B shot, eye ointment, and a bath) are also optional. She explained each treatment, the pros and cons, but also reminded me that as a mother, it is my choice and not the hospital's, and not even the midwife's.

And finally, she gave me a piece of dark chocolate, along with literature about the safety of eating chocolate while pregnant. The bottom line, she said, is if the mama is happy, the baby is happy.
Sigh. I think I am in heaven.

A Couple of Updates

2010-02-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to stretch a little. I've got 2 little burst-capillaries on the left side of my abdomen. I am using Weleda's pomegranate body oil like crazy to avoid more stretch marks.

My perpetual nausea is over, although I'm still sick of most foods and eating is probably the foremost challenge so far.

I'm lucky that I'm getting the majority of my nutrients, save a few that I need to supplement further than pre-natals. I'm having the protein challenge though. And it's a challenge to get in enough calories. But Brant bought me some whey protein powder, which is working miracles.

Lastly, my WomanCare appointment was moved to the eleventh of this month. We'll definitely post details after our appointment.

The Nightmare, and also, the Heart Beat

2010-01-28T14:23:00.001-08:00

Yesterday afternoon I had my first appointment with my doctor at Olympia Obstetrics & Gynecology. Brant came with me, since the nurse at the last appointment had told me that this would be a great appointment for him to attend, as they would listen to the baby's heart beat.
As soon as the nurse called us, I realized the potential for disaster.
There was no warmth, no formalities given, no humanity in this nurse. She called my name, didn't acknowledge she saw us move toward her; instead she turned around and briskly walked 4 feet ahead of us while I scrambled to keep up. Without any introduction, she instructed me to get on the scale, and then told me to urinate in a cup (I still don't know why--she never elucidated).
Anyway, I could handle the nurse. That wasn't the worst of the deal.
I knew there may be discomfort in this appointment since this would be the first time I was meeting my practitioner, and I had important questions to ask about Olympia ObGyn's labor practices and general philosophy. That was part of the discomfort; who knew when to ask the questions? Luckily Brant and I had gone over the questions on the way in, so if I forgot one, he could speak up (which, thankfully he did).
I didn't, however, count on so much discomfort. The first thing Brant was told, apparently, while I was peeing in a cup, was that I was having a complete physical--breast exam, pap, and pelvic all included. And here is one place where I take issue. I don't know about other folks, ladies in particular, but I need time--both mentally and emotionally--to prepare for each physical. I also need to actually know (or at least have met) the practitioner who is going to have her hands on and inside of me. It's kind of a trust thing. So this was not okay. I also am still baffled as to why I was told to bring my husband to the appointment, with no mention of what the appointment would be about, other than to hear the baby's heart beat. I would have liked some heads-up, so at the very least he and I could discuss whether we felt comfortable with him in there, and at the very most, so I could have demanded a meet-and-greet with the practitioner.
When the nurse told me to undress, I was also shocked that I would be meeting my practitioner on completely un-leveled ground; she would be clothed, and I would not be. This immediately shifts the power dynamic so that it is often uncomfortable for the 'patient' to ask hard questions.
The practitioner, Dr. Sorenson, was great. She was definitely of the allopathic paradigm, but witty, sharp, and answered all of my questions, most of them to my satisfaction.
But, again, more places where I take issue...

They have electronic charts now, so they carry laptops. She sat the laptop on the counter facing away from me and discussed my chart/ask you questions with their back to me. I'm all for conserving paper, but at least with a paper chart, my naturopathic practitioner looks up from the paper from time to time. Or maybe she can hold the laptop in her lap?? Something needs to change.
When I asked if it was appropriate timing for me to voice my questions and concerns, she looked at her watch and said, 'yes.' She said sometimes, like on this day, she was only 5 minutes behind, and that was okay, but on other days my questions would have to wait for the next appointment. Questions about something as important as pregnancy and birth should never have to wait (for a month, potentially, in my case) to be answered).
My next scheduled appointment is with another practitioner. This is not okay. I was told that I would have a practitioner but they wanted me to meet each of the 5 total practitioners in their office since any one of them may be on call for my labor. Now, however, I see whatever practitioner has availability when I schedule my appointment. I don't think I'm being too radical by suggesting that I have an actual relationship with my practitioner. At this rate, I'll see each of them 2-5 times total, rather than one (or even 2) of them triple that amount. I cannot have this kind of relationship with my practitioner. I just can't.

Dr. Sorenson did mention that the most popular ObGyn in town just closed her practice, and they are getting all of her patients, so much so that this retired practitioner is on call for 2 days a week at Olympia ObGyn for the next 6 months to help. So they are swamped. And I understand that. But at the end of the day, I felt like I was being corralled everywhere, with no idea where I was going, being told to blindly trust professionals who wouldn't even be square with me about what was happening. Even when I mentioned to the Nurse from Hell that I felt uncomfortable meeting my doctor for the first time unclothed, she blew me off. She said it took less time this way, and I was still wearing a robe.
What it comes down to is this: they deliver okay, apparently. Dr. Sorenson was very knowledgeable and answered all my questions in a way that I liked. They'll let me labor and birth however I choose, their episiotomy rates are 0%, the elevated cesarian rate is only because Providence St Peter hospital won't allow VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarian)--which Oly ObGyn is not happy about. My uncomfortable appointment was less so with her, for the most part. But what about the quality of prenatal care? What about my anxiety and fears? What about me having to have those uncomfortable physicals with four other doctors?!!

I firmly believe that this isn't all about getting to the end result--having a baby. This is a deeply transformative process that is quite beautiful, scary, and confusing. In the paradigm I've been describing above, the care is only focused on the baby's health, and not on the mother's well-being. I'm reminded of something Michael Meade said at a workshop I went to last year. He said that birth is an initiatory rite. In it, not only an infant is born, but a woman dies and a mother is born. We forget that. In a world with such little emphasis placed on rites of passage, I want to savor mine. I want the care from understanding women who know how momentous this act is--it is the act of Creation.
I don't want to be rushed and scared and forced to let others make my decisions for me because they are too busy to let me take my own, right, time.
I've scheduled a meet-and-greet with WomanCare
for next week, and I am really excited.
But, on an extremely wonderous and awe-inspiring note,

We heard our baby's heart for the first time yesterday. It was unreal, so much so that it made it all finally real. This little person is living in my uterus and growing and changing and becoming whole. And it's heartbeat is that of a strong little warrior child.

Visiting my Maternal Side

2010-01-18T22:02:00.000-08:00

Tonight Brant and I visited my mom and grandma in Shelton, which was just wonderful. It's always so great to see them; I miss them so much, but it's just a challenge to put everything together so that I can go see them. So much of the time lately I don't have any energy. Honestly, tonight was the first time I've seen them since the wedding. (I'm such a bad daughter!)

Listening to my grandma's birthing stories (spanning from the late 50's into the mid 60's) was just incredible, and I learned so much I'd never known. She had four miscarriages before her first two children, Terri and Cindy, were born, each of which died shortly after birth. And then my mother, my aunt, and my uncle were born. So my mom, my grandma's oldest, 'first born' child was actually her third labor and birth.

My mom made me smile and laugh. Dawne (my older sister) was a long birth; over 20 hours, and she used medication. She told me at the time she wanted to keep her in her belly because things were going just fine, and once she was out, she'd have to hold her and feed her! With me she had a natural birth, mostly because the doctors told her she could have pain meds and it would most likely be slower, and if she didn't it would go quicker. But when she had me, she was wide awake, and just held me and thought I was the most beautiful baby in the world. She said she wanted to call everyone she knew and tell them, but it was too early in the morning.

My mom also said she used to swat her stomach when I moved because she didn't like the sensation. "No, I didn't like it when they moved," my grandma mused. It was hilarious. I whispered to my mom, "Isn't the whole thing weird though, really?" And she said, "Yeah, it's weird." I felt completely validated.

It was such a great night.

Science & Sensibility

2010-01-16T21:55:00.000-08:00

This looks like it'll be a useful pregnancy resource:
Science & Sensibility: A Research Blog About Healthy Pregnancy, Birth, & Beyond

From one of the authors of the site: "The more time I spend reading the obstetric literature, the more I realize that understanding “evidence-based maternity care” requires a certain proficiency in sorting out the good studies from the bad. Scientific evidence can help us clarify best practices, but much of the available evidence is limited, flawed, or even biased. I hope to use Science & Sensibility to spread the word about new important studies and to help maternity care reform advocates hone their ability to critically analyze research. With a better understanding of the research, we can improve the health and care of women and infants in pregnancy, birth and beyond."

Too Many Choices, Not Enough?

2010-01-16T17:55:00.000-08:00

I am a patient of Olympia Obstetrics & Gynecology, and am prematurely worrying about the care I'll receive and what my potential birthing options are. I've had one appointment so far with the nurse, and my next is scheduled for the 28th of January with the doctor. It went well; the nurse was really nice, but I felt really out of place. I hadn't been in an allopathic doctor's office in a while and I was shocked to remember how often antibiotics are prescribed, and how the seem to take for granted that the doctor always knows best.
When the nurse told me that I would be laboring at Providence St Peter Hospital, I was a little put-out. The last thing this hormone-filled pregnant mama wanted to hear was being told anything about the pregnancy, rather than having a conversation about it. Because if she had said, "Our office is affiliated with St Peter and we do our births there; will this be a problem for you?" I would have been much less put out.
These and other concerns I have (how often do the do cesarians? how often do they episiotomy? do they force women to labor and birth on their backs?) are making me start to look at my other options.
Around the Circle Midwifery has an excellent reputation, but they do not service hospitals; my only choice would be a home birth or a birth center (which, all I can find are birth centers in Tacoma or more north; am I missing something?). Our insurance most likely doesn't cover either of those options, and honestly, I'd like to have pain medication on hand (at least at this point) if it becomes unbearable.

Woman Care looks pretty promising. They are nurse midwives, and they service Providence St. Peter. Actually, they exclusively service Providence St. Peter. This is good if we choose to birth at the hospital, but because they are affiliated with the hospital they have to follow certain guidelines. They can't attempt to deliver vaginal births after the mother has had a cesarian because of hospital policy. (Luckily I don't have to worry about this issue!)

We need to tour Providence St. Peter's birthing center. It sounds like it might be nice; they have suites available with a jacuzzi tub to labor (not birth) in. I just hope they'll let me labor in the positions I want to, as I am anticipating a regular, happy, LOW RISK pregnancy.

A new direction

2010-01-16T17:24:00.000-08:00

As Brant and I are newlyweds and newly pregnant, I've had to take a hiatus for the most part from my personal/spiritual blog Thy Word is a Lamp at My Feet, and a Light to My Path. I still post short musings from time to time, but my energy must now be focused elsewhere. And so begins the creation of this blog.

Baby Gillihan-Eddy will chronicle Brant and I (and our baby) as we navigate the scary world of new-parentdom. Included will be the whole pregnancy journey, and possibly onwards. Mostly this will be a place where we can share our fears, some new tidbits of information on our progress, and our processing often conflicting information about pregnancy and labor. Our hope is that as we move through anti-social and social phases, our friends and family can still be involved and kept up to date on our first pregancy.

There will be griping at times; please rest assured if I've alerted you to this blog or asked you to follow it, I'm most likely not talking about you! I hope I've moved past the passive-aggressive phase that would entail.

Please comment often if you have insight, advice, or questions.