So when we had the ultrasound on Thursday there was a small stab of pain for a split second when the technician announced it was a boy. I won't lie, it was there. But then, miraculously, I was so incredibly happy and in awe of my baby boy, that the other feelings just melted away. I realized in that darkened room just how lucky we are and how happy I am to be able to bring this little person to life. I was so in love, so blissed out, and felt so fortunate to be able to see this little boy for the first time.
Here are some (blurry) pictures of the ultrasound:
This one is the one where you can tell it's a boy (note the two small circles on the left-hand side:
Can't you just see how beautiful he is?? He has such a clear profile and an adorable upturned nose! If his nose stays this shape, we'll definitely know he took that trait from me :) Brant and I keep smiling and joking at the possibility that this boy might have red hair~my biological father had red hair, and my great-grandfather and uncle on my mother's side had/have red hair. We laugh because if he comes out with red hair, eyes are going to be super speculative about whether Brant's the real father! I don't know why we think it's so funny, but we do.
Now that we know it's a boy, we have more and more preparing to do. The biggest one I think for now, is we have to have the circumcision conversations. There are so many pros and cons on both ends, it's hard to decide. But ultimately I know Brant will probably make the decision in the end because, well, he has more experience than I do.
I'm not sad that we're not having a girl, and I am. But I think it would be the same if we were having a girl too. I'd be sad and not-sad about it. They both come with different sets of challenges and blessings. I'm sad that I can't dress my little girl up in Easter outfits, and am worried that I might unconsciously be more aloof with a boy than I would with a girl. But I'm also thankful that I don't have to deal with irrational jealousies at 'Daddy's girl,' and it'll be wonderful to get the chance to bond with my little boy.
So happy for you both. <3
ReplyDeleteI understand the stab of pain - I actually had it with both Felicity and Evelynne, which is weird, because honestly, both times I was hoping for either a boy OR a girl! I think it's just that the idea of having a son (or daughter, in your case) was eliminated... until I'm pregnant again, at least (we want to have three kids). I truly only wanted to make sure that my baby was healthy, so that little flash of disappointment is so disorienting to even remember. Luckily, it disappeared as quickly as it came, and then I was crying from happiness. ;)
Red-headed kids are the best. I know from experience, hehe. And you'll totally get questions about his father - people look at me, and then Felicity, and I can tell they're wondering if I'm really her mom!
Remember that little boy Easter outfits are just as adorable (little suits with ties, and sweater vests! or just put him in a bunny outfit!). Plus, as you said, you'll have a little man to bond with... and it'll be such a treat to watch him as he grows up and does his best to be like Brant. You'll have two men doting on you!
Side note: I never worried about Daddy's Girl jealousy issues, and I've never really had to deal with them. It's a joy and a blessing for me to see how much Felicity loves Eric. When she calls for Daddy, or asks him to bounce her around, or begs him for chocolate (we both do, haha), it just makes my heart melt. I usually end up running for the camera so I can capture the moment... and even though I'm sad there aren't more of her and me on camera (I'm the only one who takes photos, so that's hard), watching them together, these two people I love most in the entire world... it's just so amazing that I don't really need photos of her and me. I know how I feel about her, and I know how I feel when I watch the love in their eyes. Don't know if that made any sense. I'm rambling, sorry!
I will readily admit there was awhile when I was doing ALL of the "duties" of parenthood that I was left completely exhausted. I had no energy left to play, and so Eric was the "fun" one, and I became jealous and resentful, not of their relationship, but that I felt I couldn't have one because I was too tired. A talk with Eric fixed that, though, and of course it's gotten easier as I've become a more experienced parent and learned to prioritize so I can spend quality time with Felicity by taking care of her, AND playing with her.
... and now I'm done. Wow, long comment! ;)
I wanted a girl too. And in early on in my pregnancy I said, "You don't even have to give me an ultrasound, I know it's a girl!" But then as time went on I realized I didn't know anything. I did say during my ultrasound right before we found out the sex, "I think it's a boy." Not because I saw anything, but because I just had a feeling. But I am not going to act like I knew, because I honestly didn't.
ReplyDeleteBut once the ultrasound started, my mind drifted away from sex a bit. They check out SO many things, and I didn't do the blood testing to check for abnormalities. So I started getting worried of them finding things that were wrong. I worked there, and knew all the bizarre things found on ultrasounds. I got scared. So along with finding the sex I was just thrilled to have a healthy baby.
Once she said boy, I was just thrilled. I thought I'd be more disappointed but I was thrilled. But how she told me I was having a boy was by saying, there is a scrotum here. So my actual first (immature) response was "eewww" lol. "I have a scrotum in me!!" But honestly I was thrilled.
Everyone and their dog knew I was going in for the ultrasound and knew I wanted a girl. So whenI told everyone it was a boy, people were like "ohhh..............are you ok??" lol I was like "Yes! I'm thrilled!!" People were prepared for the worst though.
Ok so circumsicion. I circumsised Cohen (well not me personally). But I was on the fence. I didn't want to have my baby go through any pain of course. But I decided to let Jason be the one to weigh in more on the decision. I figured that Jason would be the one showing him how to pee, and answering questions, etc... He chose to have him circumized as he was. I have 4 nephews. 3 of them are not circumcised. They have their reasons and I totally respect them. Unfortunately they don't really respect mine. My physician said that in this area about 75% of babies are still circumcised. So there's that. lol.
If you have any other "boy" questions I am here of course. Congratulations again
oh and p.s. Cohen had a very cute "babies first easter" bib and bunny ears!! I'm not missing out. :)
I completely understand, Suzy, about having disappointment not in the actuality of the results, but just a flash of disappointment in the loss of possibility. As I said, I'm sure I would have felt the same way if the gender was reversed. It's like Gretchen mentioned on my FB post~ I'm coming to realize that there are many tiny mournings along with the joys. As long as I'm honest enough to admit them to myself, and courageous enough to express them when it will help me to move through them, it's all good.
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally feel you, Anna Lisa. The technician said it was a boy so quickly, and then we moved on to all his little parts. I was nervous~does his heart look ok? Does he have a fully developed brain, as far as she can tell, all those questions...But then I let myself get lost in the awe of seeing him there, and seeing him in a way I won't really see when he's here, outside in the world. And the same thing's happening to me, "are you okay with it being a boy?" Uh, YEAH. I'm ecstatic, you know???
The circumcision issue certainly IS heated, I'm coming to realize. Whatever my decision ends up being, I'll probably only share it with a few friends, and folks who ask specifically. There's a lot of anti-circumcision writing that is really inflammatory, and also pretty hateful. And a lot of pro writing does minimize the pain issues for baby. My bottom line is I want him to be healthy and happy, and have less trouble in the long run. I've known a few parents who have had to deal with a lot of infections, even though they consider themselves really hygienic. So our next question to ourselves regarding pain is, what is more painful? Potential recurrent infections, or circumcision? Luckily we still have a few months to make this decision, and I'm really sorry yours hasn't been respected :( (That's why we'll probably be pretty quiet about it in the end, although I don't want be cowardly either...)
Thanks for your comments, ladies <3
PS~ We want to dress him up in fuzzy bear outfits. We've seen 2 of them at Value Village, and didn't pick them up. Easter can have bears, right??? Or, maybe just on a random Wednesday.